Ryan O’Meara

1) Give it a deliberately provocative name – check.

2) Position it with hot women showing much flesh – check.

3) Make it much bigger/stronger/faster than predeccors – check.

4) Wait for Mr Outraged from Hemel Hempstead to do the rest of your job for you – checkmate.

AN energy drink called Simply Cocaine was blasted by anti-drug campaigners yesterday.

The drink, with a cartoon character called “Charlie” on the bottle, has double the caffeine content of Red Bull.

Excess caffeine drinks can trigger heart problems. But Martin Barnes, of the charity DrugScope, is angry over the name.

He said: “This is an intentionally provocative and cynical marketing stunt. Making light of an illegal drug that causes harm isn’t smart.” ~ source, The Sun.

Oh Mr Barnes, I’d say it was smart. Very smart. You brain surgeon, you.

Alice Cooper sent Mary Whitehouse a bouquet of flowers after she pretty much did ALL of his marketing for him by appearing in the media saying how he should never be allowed in to the country and that his depraved, sickening stage show was something that young people should never be exposed to. Nice one Mary. Way to sell out Wembley Stadium (twice).

If I was launching a youth orientated product I guarantee, absolutely guarantee right, slap bang at the top of my list of priorities would be the task “How to get Mr I Know Best For Everyone to be outraged about it. If you can do that, job done. Cheap, effective and never fails to work.